I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
