Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
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yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?