we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis