I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
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you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.