If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again