I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
