I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
