who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
