the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
