i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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