He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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