Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
