Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
