i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
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I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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