yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
