He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize