when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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