The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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