I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
