So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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