I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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