I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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