I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
