At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
home. puking in laundry basket.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize