i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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