so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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