everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
