haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
