i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
