well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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