is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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