so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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