just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
