Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
