I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
