There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my liver is dry heaving
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
