oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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