butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
