You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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