it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
