I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
