i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
