Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
