Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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