Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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