Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
