I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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