So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize