I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
this just has baby written all over it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
