if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
