someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize