yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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