It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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