piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
