He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
