Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
