He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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