Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
