Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you never un-have a 4some
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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