Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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